The bonds that keep us going: Stories of Those Going Through Covid-19
This document was created in a group process initiated by Narrative therapist Iclal Eskioğlu Aydın, in which the knowledge, skills, and values that people use against the difficulties experienced in the COVID-19 process were discovered. This group work was conducted with a group of psychologists who are students of the Ibn Haldun University Clinical Psychology master's program.
In the group work, group members explored how the Covid-19 process affected their lives and the knowledge, skills, and values that helped them in this process. They uncovered the stories of these knowledge, skills, and values and their history. They made familial, cultural, and social connections to these skills, values, and knowledge. The group members wanted to share their discoveries about themselves in this group work with other people by creating a collective document and preparing a message for you, the readers:
"We think that people have many life experiences and that some experiences sometimes intersect. We also believe that sharing what has helped us along the way can help people reading this document to discover their own stories of knowledge, skills, and values. We hope that sharing our own stories can help us (both ourselves and the readers) to feel that we are not alone. In the process, we hope that our stories are good for each other."
The members of the group have created some questions that might be helpful for those who want to contribute to this document. You can find them at the end of the document. We look forward to hearing your responses!
Strength in Unity
Some of us nowadays feel that we are being sucked into a black hole that is trying to drown us in silence and isolate us. Against this black hole, I am trying to strengthen my bond with my loved ones, to feel and make them feel that we are together. In this process, I call my family, relatives and loved ones more often, I try to give myself and my environment the message that we still have a bond with them and that we can overcome this process together. It makes me feel peaceful to remember the smile on everyone's face at the holiday tables organized by my grandmother and grandfather, bringing all my loved ones together. As our elders say, "There is strength in unity". It makes us feel good to be one strong voice against the black hole that is trying to drown us in silence.
Throwing Out the Sticky Red Gum
Lately, we have been realizing more and more that the more we deal with our anxieties, the more they spread and increase. One of us compared anxiety to a sticky gum and described it as "I think it's somewhere in my stomach and it's red in color. It's something that expands upwards and the more I think about it, the more uncomfortable it gets". We think that one of the things to do about this sticky gum is to openly share our feelings with people to get it out and focus on other things to do instead of dealing with the gum. As most of us know, sorrows diminish with sharing, and happiness increases with sharing.
Moving Forward Even When Life Stops
These days, we worry about the possibility of something happening to our loved ones. Some mornings I feel like a block of concrete is falling on me and I'm being crushed underneath it. Keeping on top of my responsibilities lightens the weight of the concrete block. At the end of each day, I make a list for the next day, and at the end of the day, I tick off what I have accomplished. Doing this allows me to hold on to my daily routines and keep going. I learned to hold on to my responsibilities by watching a family elder not let up on what he had to do. There is a common proverb in our society: "The iron that works will shine". This proverb reminds us to keep the things in our lives that make us feel that we are moving forward in our lives, which are relatively stagnant these days.
Tradition in the Kitchen
These days, we think that anxiety is doing its best not to take over our lives. Whenever I am in intense emotion, one of the things I do to catch my breath is to get into the kitchen. Everyone in the family likes to try new recipes and then have other family members taste and comment on them. Sometimes there are even jokes between us over these experiments. So this is a common tradition in our family. Being in the kitchen not only allows me to continue the family tradition but also gives me and my family space to talk about non-anxiety issues by incorporating humor into my life. Carrying on our family traditions can guide us through difficult times.
Leaving the Shadow Behind
These days, we are concerned about the uncertainty of our future. One of us describes this anxiety this way: "This anxiety is like my shadow that I cannot get rid of no matter what I do in any period of my life". During this time in the shadow of the shadow, I read so many books that I didn't have time to look at social media. Reading books disconnects me from this world, allows me to forget my worries, and most importantly, clears my mind. My mother, if something overwhelmed her during the day, she would pick up a book and retreat to her corner, and when she came to us, she would be free of her negative mood. 'Every book is a world.' Every world that opens up through the books we read makes us feel that it is possible to leave the shadow behind and that we are in control.
Some questions for those who want to contribute:
- Did reading this document remind you of something that helped you cope with the pandemic?
- Did you feel close to any of the knowledge, skills, and values in this document? How do you think the statement you feel close to relates to your own life?
- Was there any part of reading this document that helped you?
- Are there any family or community traditions or rituals that have helped you to survive and move on despite the difficulties you have experienced in your life due to COVID-19?
For your answers: iclal.aydin@ihu.edu.tr