We humans are social beings. We do not live our lives in isolation; rather, we exist within the relationships we form with others. Social interactions do not merely serve the purpose of passing time pleasantly—they provide the fundamental ground on which who we are and how we relate to the world are shaped. In short, being human cannot be separated from our relationships with others. Talking is often not just about conveying information, but about making contact. This contact forms the invisible bonds that sustain relationships. Telling someone how your day went, sharing a small concern, or even mentioning a seemingly insignificant detail all help maintain these bonds.
Among all primates, grooming behavior is a primary source of familiarity, cooperation, trust, and bonding within the group. In humans, grooming also takes place through conversation. In this way, talking becomes a means of establishing trust and connection through contact. Each of us shares the sense of comfort that comes from solidarity within our group through these moments of contact. A sense of belonging is renewed through this ongoing network of connection. Thus, for humans, talking serves a function far beyond the exchange of information. Talking is like touching another person. It creates closeness and keeps alive the feeling of “we are here and we are connected.” This is why telling someone about our day or sharing a small worry does not merely transmit content—it creates partnership. Through this, people continue to know one another and stay attuned to each other.
For this mutual attunement to continue, we need to devote time to connection. Group members can continue to recognize one another, feel a sense of belonging, and remain in harmony only through these interactions. When these shared moments decrease, even if the group remains physically together, it begins to unravel emotionally.
When we stop sharing our everyday experiences and problems with those around us, the first thing to be affected is the bond itself. Relationships become more superficial, and mutual trust weakens. Over time, we stop feeling as though we are part of the same story. Everyone retreats into their own inner world, and the sense of partnership slowly dissolves. This rupture is not only emotional; it also has a cognitive dimension. Talking with those close to us, sharing concerns, and thinking together is also a form of cognitive exercise. Considering another person’s perspective, trying to understand their emotions, or searching for solutions together keeps empathy, emotional awareness, and problem-solving skills alive. Sharing nourishes not only relationships, but also cognitive flexibility.
Yet many of us do not always do this. Thoughts such as “they will judge me,” “they won’t understand,” or “it won’t help anyway” may hold us back. These concerns are familiar—and sometimes even realistic. Still, in most cases, the benefits of sharing outweigh the risks it involves. Despite this, in recent years a new path has emerged: directing our experiences and inner dialogue not toward other people, but toward artificial intelligence.
At first glance, this may seem quite relieving. Artificial intelligence does not judge, is always accessible, and responds quickly. However, this choice subtly pulls us out of social relationships. When we share a problem with someone, we are not only seeking a solution—we want to be understood, and we want to connect. Artificial intelligence cannot produce this relational dimension. Over time, our need to share with real people may begin to dull.
Moreover, what we lose here is not limited to emotional connection. A problem that we would normally work through by thinking together with another person turns into ready-made answers when handed over to artificial intelligence. This provides short-term convenience, but in the long run it leads us to use our capacities for tolerating uncertainty, thinking, and meaning-making less often. In other words, both a relational and a cognitive loss emerges.
Another loss is quieter but just as significant: shared values. Social groups are composed not only of individuals, but of shared meanings and reference points. Talking through problems together keeps this common ground alive. When we increasingly transfer our experiences to artificial intelligence, we effectively withdraw this “grooming time” from the group. As a result, solidarity, belonging, and mutual attunement gradually weaken.
In conclusion, while confiding in artificial intelligence may appear to be a practical option in the short term, it carries costs in the long run. The erosion of social bonds, reduced use of cognitive skills, and the fading of shared values are among them. Artificial intelligence can certainly be a part of our lives; the question is whether it replaces social relationships. Because at the center of being human still lies thinking together, feeling together, and making meaning together.
Written by: Clinical Psychologist Emine Serra Nebati