Crying in Our Eyes: The Anxiety
“I came to meet the faces of lovers,
anxiety cried in my eyes.”
Says Cahit Zarifoğlu, in his poem called Ağartı. Yes, we all feel anxious. Sometimes before an exam, sometimes when the phone rings, and sometimes when we no longer know where our heart belongs. Our pulse quickens, our breath shortens, our thoughts scatter. But what exactly is this thing called anxiety? Why is it such a familiar, yet exhausting emotion?
Anxiety is, in fact, one of the oldest protection systems bestowed upon us by our Creator - an inner alarm. Each emotion carries a message: fear protects us, anger reminds us of our boundaries, guilt points to our values. Anxiety warns us that something might be wrong. Like a smoke detector in our home, it sounds the alarm when it senses danger.
When a threat is perceived, a small almond-shaped area deep within our brain — the amygdala — switches on. The amygdala is responsible for our emotional responses, especially fear and anxiety. It acts as the brain’s “alarm center.” Once it detects danger, it sends a signal to the brainstem to prepare for action, activating the sympathetic nervous system. The heart beats faster, muscles tense, and breathing accelerates — the body enters the “fight or flight” mode.
Thanks to this biological mechanism, humankind has survived countless physical dangers for thousands of years.
However, in modern life, the “threats” we face are rarely physical. They are often psychological or social. We no longer run from predators — we run from possibilities. A word, an e-mail, an expectation, a glance — each can be interpreted by the mind as a threat. The brain, however, cannot distinguish between physical and mental danger; it sends the same signal, and the alarm rings just as loudly.
That’s why the same system is triggered when someone gets angry with us, when we are late to a meeting, or when the phone vibrates unexpectedly. Sometimes anxiety is truly helpful: it pushes us to study, to be cautious, to meet our responsibilities. But when the alarm keeps ringing, it stops protecting us and starts consuming us.
A constantly active alarm system exhausts both the body and the mind. Sleep is disrupted, concentration fades, heart rhythms change, digestion suffers. Most of the time, there is no real fire -only a thought that looks like smoke. Anxiety, once a guardian, turns into a burden. At that point, it is not a “disorder” but rather a signal asking for understanding and care.
And still, anxiety has something important to tell us. It often reveals what we truly value and care about. A student feels anxious about an exam because their effort and success matter to his or her. A mother feels anxious for her child because her love runs deep, and she wants to be a good parent. A person feels anxious in relationships because connection is meaningful to them.
In short, anxiety often speaks from the place of what we hold valuable.
That is why the goal is not to silence anxiety completely, but to understand it. Once we notice what it is trying to protect, we no longer need to fight it -we can listen instead.
If this inner alarm has become too loud to manage, seeking professional support is a meaningful step. Working with a therapist can help us translate the language of anxiety and learn to live with it, not against it. Because anxiety does not exist to harm us -it exists to keep us alive. And when anxiety cries out in our eyes, learning to listen to it may just help us hear ourselves.
*The original lines in Turkish:
“Sevgililer yüzüne karşılık geldim
kaygı bağırdı gözevlerimde.”
Written By: Psychologist Fatma Zehra GÖÇMÜŞ